Last week in The Nightingale Chronicles, our heroic avian friend was put into a corner. Battle awaits. Who will win?
The transit officer tried every weapon he could think of against the nightingale: swords, staffs, rocket launchers, tactical nuclear weapons and even a plastic spoon but none could harm the Nightingale.
The carriage, now a toxic, smoking ruin burned slowly surrounded by miles of devastation in all directions (caused by the plastic spoon). Seats, wheels and 'no smoking' signs were strewn as far as the eye could see
Amidst this chaos the transit officer stood just a few steps away from his paper opponent.
"Well, let's call this battle a draw" said the transit officer "it's clear that neither of us can win through our knowledge of tactical weaponry. But rather, the war will be decided by our skill with a lightsabre."
Suddenly, the sound of a million electric razors inside a million metal mixing bowls filled the air. A soft red glow enveloped the battlefield and round two began.
The transit officer swung wildly, missing the nimble Nightingale each time. Enraged, he used his inner fear and rage to...
Note: due to threats of legal action against the transit officer, the remainder of this scene has been rewritten.
The transit officer swung wildly, missing the nimble Nightingale each time. By this stage of the battle, his bread stick was beginning to lose its strength.
"Ahh! My bakery product!' screamed the transit officer.
The Nightingale at last unveiled its secret weapon: toast.
With the speed of a Ninja, a bakers dozen slices of bread were unleashed at the transit officer. As they flew through the air, their fluffy white surfaces changed to a golden brown (the Nightingale threw them very quickly). The first of the slices missed the officer but many others hit him. Crumbs and crusts were spread in all directions . The transit officer was defeated and there was much rejoicing.
Later that day, there was a great celebration and the Nightingale was awarded a medal from the beautiful princess. The three Random Characters were there too, they were at the salad bar.
The end.
In that episode of The Nightingale Chronicles, the Nightingale was played by himself and the transit officer was played by some tall guy, he was voiced by James Earl Jones. The soundtrack is available in 33 1/3 and discorama formats.
This has been a Middle of Nowhere Production for Middle of Nowhere Productions.
The Nightingale will return...