Episode 1: Meet Dad and Dave at Snake Gully
China Melville is sitting in his orbiting death fortress.
China: Ahh excellent, the Ivory Coast has been smote. Teach them to use 3 Js in every word.
God: Excellent, you have the 3 month contract.
Lenin bursts in.
God: The whole idea of an orbiting death fortress is so we can be alone.
Lenin: Quiet! Its not like I believe in you anyway.
God: The feeling is mutual.
Opening Credits
Monsieur Ninjo and Philby, the Disgruntled Writer are sitting in their apartment. Ninjo is admiring a zucchini.
Zucchini: So as you can see, all I would need would be a length of string and a paperclip.
Ninjo: True, MacGyver could take over Switzerland with these, but do you think you are up to the task?
Zucchini: Only one way to find out. Now, to call my trusty assistant. Godzilla!
Cut to the writer examining his own shoes. Cut back to Ninjo, the zucchini is gone and a stomping sound is heard outside.
Writer: I am excessively disgruntled about life. It is because I am a writer, yet I have very little talent. My latest work “How to know your inner cheesefish” was said by critics to be about as good as a pair of Harry S Truman’s pantaloons. I am doomed to live unrecognised.
Ninjo: You think your life is not worth living! My ninja exams are coming up soon, I know I should have become a snooty frenchman like my father wanted. I always got top marks in my Arrogant Laugh classes [he says “hahha enfoire”]. But no, I saw too many episodes of the Spider.
Churchill [who was sitting at the table all along]: Damn this cinnamon toothpaste! Ah! I've gone and swallowed some now.[Dies]
Writer: So you reckon we’ve introduced the main characters already?
Ninjo: Sounds about it.
Scene 2: Walking the beat
Ninjo: You do realise we aren't police don't you?Sherlock Homes: Elementary! However, detection is a similar process.
A 16 tonne weight falls on his head.
Spoonie Gee (the Grandfather of Rap) : Predict that holme-boy! [break dances]
Writer: I think the only true and correct thing to do in this confused world is to kill oneself. So in the traditions of the romans, I shall drink this glass of hemlock. Suddenly Godzilla attacked. Oh wait, that was supposed to a stage direction.
Godzilla stomps on his glass of hemlock.
Ninjo: It appears the fates conspired to keep you alive for another day.
Cut to a secret boardroom of the fates
Fate #1: Damn, I think he’s onto us!
Cut back to the street
Writer: Appears so. But know this from this point on Godzilla I will never rest until I have smote you!!! You will not stop me from destroying myself! Now, lets go home, I am getting tired and need a rest.
Ninjo looks at a homeless man. He is holding a sign saying “Ninja’s killed my family. Need money for Kung Fu lessons.
Ninjo: I will teach you my son. You will be my apprentice.
Homeless Guy: Hands off Homie Gee! Werd sup. I am actually a government plant to horde up Ninjas. You are coming to jail my friend!
Ninjo fights the guy, showing his underdeveloped ninja skills. When Ninjo was about to be banished, the Muusu Bandit rides in.
Muusu: Hands off! You will not touch a citizen of france/spain!
The Muusu Bandit chases him off, and then scratches the Katakana Muusu into the wall.
The End