Fishflywest

Episode 13 - I can't get enough of that flap jack action!

Introduction

(A man approaches a Bhuddist temple. He prepares to enter then turns away and walks off. Cut to the man sitting at a bar)

Bartender: What happened?

Man: I don't know, I just couldn't find a way to walk in.

Bartender: You know your shoe laces are tied together.

[Opening Credits]

Scene 1

(Ninjo is walking down the street, he turns down a dark alley and is confronted by a gang of five 'toughs')

Gang member: Hand over all your money!

Ninjo: What money? I pay my rent with salsa lessons!

2nd gang member: Oh a wise guy hey?

Ninjo: Well I do know 11 of the Colonel's 12 secret herbs and spices.

Gang member: No you don't, only the Colonel knows that. And he's living in Pittsburgh with my grand mother. And he won't tell me! And he never told you! So you don't know.

(Gang members begin to advance on Ninjo. Ninjo goes into a ninja crouch and prepares to fight. The gang members begin to arm themselves with baseball bats, chains, knives and Arthur Miller)

Arthur Miller: My clever appropriations will destroy you now!

(Ninjo lets out a scream and reveals his secret weapon, the entire encyclopedia Brittanica which he proceeds to hurl at the approaching gang members)

3rd gang member: Help, my eyes, they burn!

2nd gang member: Run away run away.

(The gang runs away.)

Arthur Miller: Want to get a bite to eat?

Ninjo: Sure I know a great sushi restaurant.

Arthur Miller: Do they serve pie?

Ninjo: Is the Pope a Zoroastrian?

Arthur Miller: No, no he's not.

Ninjo: Then no, they don't serve pie.

Arthur Miller: Nuts to that!

(Arthur Miller rides away on a rocket powered motor cycle)

Scene 2

(In the kitchen of the apartment)

Philby: Do you want fries with that?

Ninjo: What is this McDonald's?

Philby: Yes.

(Camera pans out to reveal that one wall of the apartment kitchen is actually the serving counter of a McDonalds. Philby is behind the counter taking Ninjo's order)

Ninjo: When did this happen?

Philby: While you were away. I sold one wall to McDonalds.

Ninjo: Why?

Philby: They wanted to buy in to the market.

Ninjo: What market?

Philby: Our apartment market.

Ninjo: Our apartment is a market for fast food retail outlets?

Philby: Yeah.

Ninjo: Since when?

Philby: Since KFC opened in the living room.

(Camera pans out to reveal a KFC in the living room. Two chickens enter the room.)

Chicken 1: Oh my god, there's a KFC in the apartment! You immoral bastards!

Philby: It was your idea. You were behind on the rent and sold your room to KFC.

Chicken 2 (to Chicken 1): How could you?

Chicken 1: I will not be accused of this!

KFC waiter: Ah Mr. Chicken here's those crispy strips you ordered.

Chicken 2: Oooh, yum can I have some?

The End