Episode 16 - A clam in the Steamer.
Prologue
A person is walking along in the desert. She comes across a turtle.
Person: Are you god?
Turtle: No, but I can give you a discount on aluminium siding.
Introduction
Titles
Scene 1
Philby enters a building with a sign that says "Publishers Clearing House".
Once inside he approaches the reception.
Secretary: Yes sir how may I help you?
Philby: I'm here to see my publicist, a Mr Hodder.
Sceretary: There's no Mr Hodder working here.
Philby: Was he fired?
Secretary: No Sir I imagine he was probably a figment of your imagination.
Philby: Well who's going to publish my book?
Secretary: What book?
Philby: The one I've just written! Here, look.
Philby holds out a clock.
Secretary: Sir that's a clock.
Philby: Is it?
Secretary: Yes, yes it is.
Philby: Oh, ok then. I guess I'll be on my way.
Secretary: Would you?
Philby begins to walk away. Then he turns back to the desk.
Philby: Uh huh! I got you. This isn't really a clock is it? It's really, a stool!
Philby holds out the clock again.
Sceretary: No Sir, it's still a clock. Look, if you're that desperate, you can see Mr Johnson, he's on level 12.
Philby: My work here is done.
Scene 2
Philby steps off the elevator onto level 12. He walks down a hall and finds Mr Johnson's office. He turns the handle and walks in.
Mr Johnson: A Mr Philby I presume.
Philby: Philby is my middle name.
Mr Johnson: Well good for you. So tell me about this book you've written.
Philby: It's the greatest work ever written.
Mr Johnson: I'm not interested, what else have you got?
Philby: A James Bond rip off where the hero's an inflatable book shelf...
Mr Johnson: Sold! Here's a cheque for $35.
Scene 3
Philby and Ninjo enter a book store.
Ninjo: What section is it in?
Philby: Non-fiction.
The End.
16/11/05 - Matt (Colonel)