Episode 7
Prologue
The Disciples are break dancing at a club. Music is to the tune of James Brown’s “Sex Machine.” (no lyrics yet - this is done only a bit later)
Bartholomew (in the distance): Bust that wicked move, Judas!
Peter: Break it down!
Camera goes slowly across room
Lyrics: Get up
Get on up.
Get up
Get on up.
Get on the scene
(Get on up)
Like a Snake Machine
(Get on up)
Camera finishes panning room until it stops at the snake machine, which vends snakes.
Scene 1 - Still in the club
Ninjo vends a snake from the said machine.
Philby: But you see, the struggle of the modern day poet is more of a physical than metaphorical these days…
Ninjo: uh huh
Philby: Because more people will have the poet beaten out of them during school
Ninjo: uh huh
Philby: And if not then, then why not later at some crummy job
Ninjo: Look out, Ninja’s!
Screams in club - social disorder
Ninjo (thought): Now’s my chance!
[Ninjo gets hit in the head]
Philby: Plus it’s not just the writing of a good poem either. You gotta bust some moves
[sudden distracted fighting from Philby whilst he monologues - beating all the Ninja’s up]
Philby: You gotta earn respect
[another fight]
Philby: You gotta not worry about conjugating the verb, or rhyming - only make it sound good-
[another few moves]
Philby: -as well as fighting your way through it
[Last guy: stabs him with a quill, then pulls it out and uses his blood to write a poem a tablecloth while he uses the guy he killed as a table]
Philby: Yes! I have it!
Scene 2 - At the apartment
Ninjo: what the hell was that?
[Ninjo tends to wounds]
Philby: I don’t know…but I think I’ve finally found my muse! I’m gonna go to your school!
Ninjo: Ummm, first you’re not French OR Spanish. Secondly…you’re already a graduate from there. That’s how you were able to so easily beat up those guys, remember?
Philby: Ahh yes.
[Looks as though he’s thinking of a way to get around it]
Ninjo: And don’t start going around beating people up just for the sake of poetry.
Philby: But Keats did it!
Ninjo: No he didn’t!
Philby: Oh. Very well then. I’ll just…go…outside
Ninjo: Oh, you’re off to do the shopping?
[pause]
Philby: Yes.
Scene 3 - Philby comes home.
Ninjo [dressed as the film star that said that in movie]: Is that a lot of cranberry sauce on your shirtsleeve or are you just glad to see me?
Philby [dressed as the guy from ‘Gone With The Wind’: Frankly, dear, I don’t give a damn.
Scene 4 - Philby comes home in reality. Does actually have blood on his sleeve.
Ninjo: Well, I’d kick your ass but your abilities probably exceed mine. I think I’ll be transferring somewhere else, though.
Philby: Any thoughts where,
Oh Meloptulous Pear?
For the greatest
of the great
travel far
And yet not so far at all.
Ninjo: Ummmm… I’m considering as far from you as possible. I might try Neptune.
Epilogue
Neptune [god of the sea, etc. etc., with trident and seaweed and all; speech taken from C3PO’s after recovering dismemberments in the Cloud City in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back]: Ninja’s? Here? In the city! Oh no I’ve been shot!
Scar: Hyenas! In the Pride Land! Simba’s down there!
[Neptune skewers Scar]
Scar: Teaches me for having a name after a post-birth physical feature.
End.
Alex (Snaykeemcgee)