Final Godzilla
Act 3: Godzilla vs Gumby, Goo and Pokey in a three vs one cage match
Scene 1: Sparta 2000BC, Edison’s holiday house…
Godzilla stands outside Edison’s house. Edison appears but is quickly stomped to death by Godzilla.
Godzilla: HAHAHA, now the viewers will never know Edison’s secret to life, death and the reason I needed to see him.
At that moment the Young girl with an affinity with Godzilla and her husband who is at that moment riding the squished Thomas Edison appears.
Girl: This looks like a good place to have our honey moon.
Godzilla: Who are you?
<Girls communicates to Godzilla via her natural affinity with Godzilla>
Girl: I am you. I have your genes and we have a natural affinity.
Godzilla: What do you want?
Girl: I want you to battle Gumby, Goo and Pokey.
Godzilla: What is with all the fighting I have to do?
Girl: Shut up!
Girl to her husband: Let’s get out of here!
Husband now riding four mooses, two backpackers and a pub: I thought we were going to have our honeymoon.
Girl: No I want a divorce
Cue romantic interlude
The squashed Thomas Edison no longer being ridden: I thought they were getting divorced?
Godzilla: Well I guess I’m going to have to go to a cage to battle Gumby, Goo and Pokey.
The squashed Thomas Edison no longer being ridden: Why don’t you not risk your life and not fight them?
Godzilla breathes fire on the squashed Thomas Edison and thus his part in this movie is finished. Godzilla then flies away on a giant Tetradactyl.
Scene 2: Godzilla, Gumby, Goo and Pokey in the triumvirate of fish sticks (That is a giant cage made of fish sticks)
Fish Stick #1: I wish I were a yellow stork. I am sick of being part of a cage.
Fish Stick #2: But you are a yellow stork. Fly away home…
Fish Stick #1: Ok. See you later…
The Fish Stick flies away from china, never to be seen again, the cage looses a certain amount of structural integrity, but thankfully a passing moose fills the gap.
Godzilla: This is far too post modern for me. I think the following battle will be engaged in a metaphorical sense.
Gumby, Goo and Pokey walk in (well to be fair, Goo flies in, and Gumby kind of walks through walls (if you want him to))
Gumby: And you thought the Mulligrubs mouth was bad… If you really want to grow up to be the kind of adult who frequents clock towers try to comprehend one of my episodes…
Pokey: Its time for a post modern attack!
Gumby, Goo and Pokey don turtle neck sweaters and sit down in a coffee bar sipping café lattes and debate Schopenhauer
Godzilla: No it’s too much attack! My fire breathing is no match for your philosophy! If only I had Surprise Chef, he would give you a seeing to.
Surprise Chef: I’ll help you! All I need to do is take you to the supermarket and get various ingredients… on a budget of course.
Goo: Ok, if you want to be that way about it! Don’t make us debate further into philosophy! We could mention the existence of comprehension of time!
Surprise Chef melts into the ground, never to be seen again (supposedly he is off where the Professor is)
Godzilla: I think we really need to have a real battle. Enough with your sweaters!
Godzilla breaths fires, and jumps in a kung fu style fashion with Anime style lines coming behind him, replacing the background (which was the hills of Switzerland with the odd Julie Andrews running about). He kicks Gumby, Goo and Pokey in a triple kick, and they are blasted back to the farm where they started. Godzilla starts to brush his hands together – when he spies Luigi Mario on the horizon – this he knows will be his final enemy.